Salasvegas

Britain is a safe haven for the emotionally repressed, a breeding ground for the aggressively polite and the humble home of the pub. The pubs, much like the overcast skies, are an inescapable facet of life in Britain. No matter the hour and no matter the company, a pub can fulfil your needs. A Sunday lunch with the whole family? Pub. A few pints and some snacks while watching your sport of choice? Pub. An elegant ingress into a night of debauchery? Library? No of course not, it’s the pub. 

Pubs are a mirror to the populace’s soul. Salisbury’s soul is one of a weary old farmer. His heart is in the rolling fields and hilltop copses of his childhood home, but with modern industrialisation he struggles to retain the love for the old ways. Salisbury, as I mentioned in my last post about the culinary delights of the city, has its issues. But I think the pub scene may be a redeeming feature of this place I call home. A tether to the old glory that its soul yearns for. So, let’s sink a pint and dive right into it:

The Old Mill

This pub is outside of the main city centre and is accessible via the town path that makes a beeline from Elizabeth Gardens straight to the source of merriment. The fount of intoxicating potations. The public house. THE PUB. The walk through the water meadows is lovely. You can take in the sights that Constable immortalised in his famous painting, or even after a few drinks, squat precariously on various fence posts like some sort of overgrown eagle perching on a tree. 

Once you reach the pub, you can clearly see that it is in the nicest setting of any pub in Salisbury. Next to the river and overlooking the park it is in a league of its own. The 15^thcentury building has a fairly snug interior with some seating and a bar area, but this pub is definitely best visited in the summer when you can sit in the large beer garden. The food here is your classic pub fare but above the standard of many other pubs in Salisbury. On a warm sunny day, this is probably my top choice for a drink and some food. 

The Salisbury Arms

After gracing many fine establishments in this city, I didn’t expect to find such a gem, previously overlooked by my uninterested eye. Upon arrival to the pub I was planning on continuing my week-long sobriety so that I could attend kickboxing later that evening. Sobriety isn’t usually a problem for me so I was confident. But the Salisbury Arms got its alcohol-soaked fingers into my brain and from there was no going back. I fell off the wagon. The drinks menu is something to behold. With enough rum to make Blackbeard cry, a mouth-watering array of other spirits and all with their own cocktail lists, it would’ve been a crying shame not to have a little tipple. We whiled away the hours with a cocktail, at least seven double rums each (Old J, you are the elixir of the gods) and two games of Scrabble. The interior of the pub is simple with the seating wrapped around the bar. The outside seating area looked nice (from my warm vantage point in the pub), it had a food truck and plenty of seating. I can see this pub becoming regular haunt for me, it has a large choice of drinks, the food sounded tasty and the staff were friendly. I will be returning for more drinks this winter, and as summer approaches I’m sure the allure of the food truck will tempt me outside.

Spoons

Wetherspoons or “Spoons” serves a purpose. It doesn’t parade itself around under the pretence of being something it’s not. Spoons is your shabby mate that pops up every time you want to go out on the town, no matter the location, he’s there. He isn’t fussy. He isn’t classy. But God damn it, he’s reliable. 

The Spoons in Salisbury is the place to be on a Saturday night. The unmistakable buzz of alcohol-loosened voices intermingling with the clinking of glasses is essential to the spoons experience. Drinks are being consumed at a rate of knots and it’s all in anticipation for the night to come. For the crazy shapes that will be thrown in mere minutes. If you’re not sold on the idea of gracing the hallowed halls of spoons yet. If the tired carpets and the sticky bar aren’t appealing to your sensibilities. If you’re letting the rowdy fellas outside, one of whom is trying to fight a bouncer, while the another is being violently sick, distract you from the cheap alcohol and the raucous atmosphere. I may have a solution. A tried and tested method for making you see Spoons as the shining light at the start of the tunnel of depravity that it is. A necessary squalor where you embrace acquaintances with the vigour of old friends, and revel in the shared knowledge that, just as the Black Eyed Peas said, “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.” So here it is. My Spoons stratagem. 

The Pheasant

The Pheasant, previously a very nice French restaurant, is a pub just across the road from Tinga (mentioned in the previous post), and despite my solitary visit to the pub it made an impression on me. Firstly, the building is old and cosy. It feels like the building is giving you a hug, the fires are crackling, there are leather seats and you have a local ale in your hand. I think that the very action of drinking in this pub might age me at least 20 years but the atmosphere is worth the arthritis, crow’s feet and the inexorable urge to say, “Ooh wow, haven’t you grown,” to any relative below the age of 25. The menu wasn’t extensive but the food sounded delicious albeit expensive. Maybe upon my return I will have a lapse of judgement severe enough for me to consider buying a meal here. 

The New Inn

Falling nicely into the category of old pubs with beams and open fireplaces, the New Inn and the Pheasant share many of the same qualities. Despite this, the New Inn feels older inside, less refined and even more cosy than the Pheasant. The ceilings are low, there are multiple large dark wood panelled rooms and plenty of comfy chairs. On top of this the garden is large, with an area of grass and a large patio, all with a view of the cathedral. I haven’t had the food there in years but have heard on the grapevine that it has a very tasty pub grub. This pub is perfect for a drink sat by the fire in winter or a pint in the garden in summer. 

Final Bites

I have not been to all the pubs in Salisbury (to the detriment of this blog) but fortunately my liver still works so I guess there’s a silver lining. Hope you enjoyed learning about my favourite places to throw away money, however I couldn’t mention some good pubs. Here are some that didn’t quite make the cut: 

• Avon Brewery – Nice local ales and a garden that backs onto the river. 
• The Ox Row – On the market square, usually a good atmosphere, met a random Welsh couple here who paid for mine and Brendan’s entire night’s drinking including at the club. Maybe it can happen to you too. 

Now with this foolproof guide you can drink your way around Salisbury like a local.