Wining and liming

Tobago? More like Tobastop what you’re doing and book a flight here.

The Beaches

Englishman’s Bay

Our drive to this idyllic sandy cove took us through small villages sprawled amongst the steep jungle covered slopes of Tobago’s interior. The dark tarmac contrasted strongly to the vibrant forests and colourful houses to our sides but it was when we turned a sweeping corner that we were blown away by the view. We pulled over, stepped up onto the road barrier and stared down. Rising steam clung to the dense jungle canopy, unmoved due to the saturated stillness of the air. But these shrouded treetops were receding from us, meeting the ocean’s beautiful yet unyielding barrier far below.

Back in the car and a couple of turns later, we saw the bay itself. The waters were a striking emerald and sapphire combination, harmoniously mixing to defy even the most artistic of descriptions. The ivory sand was a swathe of purity separating the mercurial ocean and the tireless jungle. There was a small family run restaurant with good food and apart from that there was nothing but beach. It was the typical image of paradise.

I didn’t spend much time on the sand, because the beach is made for activities not relaxation. However, Brendan who had consumed an irresponsible volume of rum the previous night, did enjoy a sit on the beach. Physical activity on a hangover is a dangerous game to play, and we can all reason that vomiting into your snorkel would be a terrible situation to find yourself in. So, Brendan sat there recovering and making friends with the abundant, but shy, crab population. By the end of the day, sat in the shade of the palm trees, he was one of them, an honorary crab.

We did return to the beach later in the week and Brendan did get his chance to have a wee snorkel without the threat of sucking on a tube of vomit.

Stonehaven Beach

Our other favourite spot was Stonehaven Beach. Our first visit was to take advantage of two for one cocktails at a beautiful beach-side restaurant for happy hour. The cocktails were amazing and the deal was used to an almost “friends begin questioning your drinking habits and health” extent. Following the consumption of a sugary ocean’s worth of strawberry daiquiris, we had a decent meal, watched an incredible sunset and to top it all off, turtles hatched on the beach right by the bar. We didn’t go swimming here but enjoying the views of a stunning beach with a cocktail or two in your hand can’t be argued with.

Note: We also went to Pigeon point for a snorkel and a swim but the number of people and the lack of anything to see was a bit disappointing. The snorkelling tour we took was to Buccoo Reef, but in fact we spent most of the time on a sand bar which had about half a metre of water. This was so that the locals could just lime (chill-out) and chat, unfortunately it meant there was much less time at a better snorkelling spot.

The Fete

Every summer on the beaches around the island, these crazy concerts take place all the way through the night. Ours started at 10pm at Pigeon Point and went on until at least 6am. At this place all notions of liming were out of the door and instead this is where the ‘wining’ came in. Due to my very British repression of all things sexual, rhythmic or fun, I shall describe the dance like a Radio 3 presenter, the epitome of the British final stand against good times. Wining is…

…a rather suggestive dance in which one moves ones hips and rear end in a rhythmic fashion upon the pelvic region of another.

‘Wining’ may have crept into lyrics without you even realising it. Everyone’s favourite ex-national water polo player turned rapper/dancehall artist, Sean Paul, loves to say incomprehensible things with ‘wine’ interspersed nicely throughout his songs. You can be assured, through the context of his lyrics, that he is not talking about a bold Malbec but some unnamed lady causing a mighty friction between her gluteus maximus and his pelvic zone.

Soca, the main music of Trinidad and Tobago also uses this word a great deal. However, the most obvious characteristic of Soca, when we heard it on the radio at least, was the omnipresent air horns. Are they an instrument? I’m inclined to say no. But then again I am inclined to download almost every song I hear.

In terms of music, we had a lot of big stars from all over the Caribbean of whom I had only heard of two. One of these was Designer, famous for the Panda song. From the get go he was so enthusiastic that we thought, “Aww bless him, he’s having a good time, fame has made him happy”. But then he took this enthusiasm and went rogue, bounding off stage and into the crowd. A wondrous, vaguely musical game of cat and mouse with the bodyguards ensued. And while they chased him down, we thought maybe Designer’s enthusiasm has been enhanced by some sort of narcotic. Following his capture and deft herding back to the stage, he vomited and had to finish his set there. An appropriate way to bow out for such an energetic man with a surprisingly naughty side step on him.

Popcaan was the main act and everyone was very excited to see him. Everyone knew the words to all his songs and could actually understand what he was saying (which is more than I we could say). But, when you stick out like two sore thumbs like we did, it didn’t matter that we didn’t know the words. Bumble and mumble your way through it while smiling awkwardly, that’s the English way.

Finally, some honourable mentions. First, to the guy that sang ‘sneeze on my haters like dab’ song which was incredible at the time, but now in hindsight, we have realised it’s maybe not the lyrical masterpiece that was previously thought. Secondly, there was Elephant Man. No, not the Victorian man with the congenital disorder. Although, that would have been a turn up for the books if he was found over 100 years later, playing a DJ set on a beach in Tobago. You should never say never, but I’m going with the well-established laws of mortality on this one and say that it was probably the Jamaican dancehall artist instead. His performance was memorable mainly due to the massive firehoses that were sprayed onto the crowds. Used to disperse crowds of protestors wanting human rights, used to soak a pulsating crowds of partiers and used to put out fires. Versatile pieces of equipment are firehoses.

Argyle Falls

In the village of Roxborough, there is a lovely hike up through the forest until you reach a set of waterfalls. Warning. Like most tropical forests out there, pretty much everything wants to hurt you and this was no exception. Needle like thorns were all over the place. After dodging the majority of the trees and vines that seemed to be Mother Nature’s overenthusiastic attempt to make barbed wire, we arrived at the top waterfall where the locals were just starting to leave. They showed us that the plunge pool was very deep before they left and so we had a swim and jumped off a tree into the murky water. After having our fair share of fun at the waterfall, we returned down the track. I was forced to go barefoot due to a poor choice in footwear, it turns out flip flops don’t hold up very well on a hike. Who knew?

Final thoughts

It’s not all about size. I would know.

…

By that of course, I mean I’ve been to both islands and Tobago packs a punch for its small area. It’s an incredible little island and there is a lot of fun to be had exploring it.